When considering how close I am with a person, there’s a test I like to use called The Shit Test.
Anytime you meet someone for the first time, whether it’s a new coworker, a new acquaintance, or a new neighbor, there’s typically an initial level of chemistry that you’re able to feel.
You will immediately click with some people, it’ll feel as if you’ve known them all your life. But interactions with other people might be painfully awkward or uncomfortable, as if you’re speaking with a Martian that you have nothing in common with.
But over time, certain people might grow on you. What starts as initial politeness blossoms into genuine friendship, one in which you feel completely comfortable and at ease around that person.
When you reach this stage, everything is wonderful. However, in order to get to this stage, you have to pass what I call The Shit Test.
To put it simply, The Shit Test asks a simple but important question: would I tell this person if I had to shit?
We’ve all been there. The breakfast burrito and large coffee that you consumed 45 minutes ago are brewing a violent tempest in your lower intestines. If you don’t find a bathroom, it’s going to be a problem. But the real question is, can I tell the person that I’m with that we need to stop what we’re doing and find a bathroom at all costs?
If you’re with a person who you are genuinely comfortable with, this is no issue. You simply say, “Hey, I’m gonna shit myself if we don’t find a bathroom soon.”
But then there’s all the people who you aren’t truly comfortable with. You start doing all sorts of mental calculations to determine how long you can hold it, how much of an imposition you want to be, and most importantly, if you can finesse a fart to let out some pressure.
In more polite company, you might say something like, “Hey everyone, would it be possible to find a bathroom?” At this point, people love to say stuff like, “We’ll be at the restaurant in like 30 minutes,” and “Do you think you can hold it?”
When this happens, you’re left with no option but to address the seriousness and urgency of the situation, resulting in inevitable embarrassment and shame. The irony is that despite how vile it is to think about, shitting is universal, making it one of the very few things we all have in common. So why are we so afraid of talking about it in the first place?
The moral of the story is that the next time you think about how much you like or trust someone, ask yourself: would I tell this person if I had to shit or would I tell this person I had to go to the bathroom?
It is a subtle but critical difference because it tells you how much you think the other person - both figuratively and possibly literally - gives a shit.
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When considering how close I am with a person, there’s a test I like to use called The Shit Test.
Anytime you meet someone for the first time, whether it’s a new coworker, a new acquaintance, or a new neighbor, there’s typically an initial level of chemistry that you’re able to feel.
You will immediately click with some people, it’ll feel as if you’ve known them all your life. But interactions with other people might be painfully awkward or uncomfortable, as if you’re speaking with a Martian that you have nothing in common with.
But over time, certain people might grow on you. What starts as initial politeness blossoms into genuine friendship, one in which you feel completely comfortable and at ease around that person.
When you reach this stage, everything is wonderful. However, in order to get to this stage, you have to pass what I call The Shit Test.
To put it simply, The Shit Test asks a simple but important question: would I tell this person if I had to shit?
We’ve all been there. The breakfast burrito and large coffee that you consumed 45 minutes ago are brewing a violent tempest in your lower intestines. If you don’t find a bathroom, it’s going to be a problem. But the real question is, can I tell the person that I’m with that we need to stop what we’re doing and find a bathroom at all costs?
If you’re with a person who you are genuinely comfortable with, this is no issue. You simply say, “Hey, I’m gonna shit myself if we don’t find a bathroom soon.”
But then there’s all the people who you aren’t truly comfortable with. You start doing all sorts of mental calculations to determine how long you can hold it, how much of an imposition you want to be, and most importantly, if you can finesse a fart to let out some pressure.
In more polite company, you might say something like, “Hey everyone, would it be possible to find a bathroom?” At this point, people love to say stuff like, “We’ll be at the restaurant in like 30 minutes,” and “Do you think you can hold it?”
When this happens, you’re left with no option but to address the seriousness and urgency of the situation, resulting in inevitable embarrassment and shame. The irony is that despite how vile it is to think about, shitting is universal, making it one of the very few things we all have in common. So why are we so afraid of talking about it in the first place?
The moral of the story is that the next time you think about how much you like or trust someone, ask yourself: would I tell this person if I had to shit or would I tell this person I had to go to the bathroom?
It is a subtle but critical difference because it tells you how much you think the other person - both figuratively and possibly literally - gives a shit.
